I can't believe how miserable I am. I can't do anyhing. I haven't gone to one of my classes in almost a week. I just can't do anything.  I can't focus on anything and I honestly feel like complete shit. I can't focus on anything, I can't do homework, I just can't do anything. There's so much that bothers me and I just feel like I'm so insignificant in this world. I always bitched at Justin for going home from work early because he felt sick, or for breaking down, or for feeling like life just isn't worth it. And now I'm beginning to truly understand how that all feels. I'm such a hypocrite. I hate my life so much.

I miss him so much. And even though he had his bad moments, I don't think anyoe could ever replace him. Regardless of it all, he was always there for me. He started going to school just to provide a good life for me. He knows more about me than anyone else, and he's always been there, telling me he loves me. I love him and I can't do anything about it...and completely cutting him off like that is just so hard for me. I've tried so hard to hate him, I really wish I could...he's given me more than enough reasons. I feel so helpless. He knows everything about me, and no one can pick me up from any situation like he could. I miss how he always sang Hey There Delilah just for me, as stupid as that sounds. And everytime I hear that song I can't help but think of him. ='(

Oh, it's what you do to me.

I hate my life. I've never been like everyone else. I just feel like I've always liked different things and everyone has disliked me for that. I never played with Barbies, I played with bugs and cars. I never went to church, I stayed home and watched Captain Planet.

i feel so miserable right now, i cant stop crying. i'll finish the blog later.