I feel this strange sense of mom-ness regarding Princess. I started feeding her when she was young, and now she has kittens of her own. I've never really tried to take her in to get her shots since I was sooo broke the end of last year. I don't think I have the heart to take her to the shelter, so maybe I'll get her updated on all her shots and get her spayed. 

Princess is a cute cat, I'll put pictures of her on here soon. 

THEN I was walking my dogs yesterday and two baby labs started playing with my pug. In short, I took them in because my white trash neighbors weren't taking care of them. X adopted the yellow lab and OMG I am sooo thankful for that. I feel incredibly relieved to know that at least one baby gets to have the nice life it deserves. The black lab is left. She is soo wired up. She has been really nervous and anxious now that her sister's gone, and she has made a mess of my room. I don't know how much longer I am able to keep her, so I really hope I find someone for her soon. I'm also somewhat skeptical of taking her into the humane society. 

I feel horribly bad for freaking out earlier today. I had a full house. I had two cats, my two dogs and the black lab. They kept fighting and barking and I felt incredibly overwhelmed. I put the bark collar on the black lab and she freaked out. I didn't want her to bark because I didn't want my neighbors to hear, but the bark collar didn't really work. It shocked her and she yelped, and that caused her to get shocked again, so she would yelp even more. I got incredibly frustrated and just started yelling at the animals. I took the shock collar off the lab and just tossed it. I was seriously on the verge of tears and I felt like just opening the front door and letting them all go away so I could finally rest. These last few days have been non stop work, either taking care of something, feeding something else, or cleaning up after a mess someone made. My house was a total disaster. The lab knocked over a bunch of pots and there was dirt everywhere. I wanted to cry. After yelling at the animals I just laid on the couch and managed to calm down a bit. 

I don't know why I let small things get to me sometimes. I shouldn't get mad over a little dirt being spilled. No one forced me to take the animals in, I did it all by myself and I shouldn't be upset at them because they don't behave how I expect them to, especially the babies. I just need to work on relaxing a bit and realizing how unimportant some things are. The lab trashed a bunch of my cute clothes; she ripped apart a lot of my shirts and my cute sun dresses. Buuuuut you know what? They don't fucking matter. I would let her shred apart my entire wardrobe before getting rid of her. She is a tiny life that depends on others to help her because she is so small and defenseless. I will NEVER ever let myself get upset and frustrated at HER when she's just a little baby that doesn't know better. I am so disappointed in myself. Life above all else. Things are just things and they will never amount to anything more. Although I am completely out of touch with reality sometimes and have been constantly told how antisocial I am, I feel completely happy when I'm around animals. I want to do everything I can to help as many animals as I can. I think God has a purpose for each one of us, and I firmly believe He has created everything for a reason. Every little animal was created by Him, and if He didn't want them to be in this world, then He wouldn't place them here. He has power over all else, and if this is what He chose, then I believe it's our job as His children to respect that and try our best to coexist with the world He has created for us. We have no right to take lives. We have no right to injure His creations. I think He made us the more rational being so we can stand up and defend those who can't do it for themselves. I want my kids to love life. I want them to love God and every single creature He was blessed us with. I want them to appreciate nature and strive to get in touch with it. Simplicity. Minimalism. I believe troubles get introduced into our lives as we become more complex individuals and stray away from natural life.  More material possessions, more money, more greed. We are all the same. We will all leave this world with NOTHING, just as we came. Remember that. Why spend our lives trying to build our own personal empires when none of that will matter? NOW I'M RANTING.

I've been talking to X on the phone and I feel horrible because I've probably been semi-ignoring him while typing this, so hopefully tomorrow I will post pictures up and expand on whatever thoughts I had today. 

Love.